Following these results, many investigations have linked sexting behaviors to impulsivity and substance abuse problems. Döring [10] points out that sexting is related to impulsivity, bad judgment, sensation seeking, and problematic alcohol and drug use, as well as to suicide. This author considers sexting to be either a manifestation or moderator of problematic sexual behavior. On the other hand, Judge [39] defines sexting as an emotionally-driven behavior, that is often related to impulsivity and a lack of anticipation of adverse consequences. The results of this study confirmed my long-standing belief that no matter what type of extracurricular sex you’re having, it’s the lies and secrets that hurt the most.
It’s giving sexual attention to someone outside of the relationship
You say you trust your boyfriend, not this other woman, yet checking your boyfriend’s phone may be interpreted otherwise. Could it be that he exhibits other behaviors that cause you to question his trust? It may be that you don’t trust him, and if this is the case, it’s good to explore the reasons why, as well as what led you to check his phone. You raise a very thought-provoking question, and one that (as you might guess) has no easy answers. Or rather, the eyes of the beholders — meaning that it’s up to the two of you to decide what constitutes cheating in the context of your relationship. Some people would define what your boyfriend did as cheating, while others would not.
- Finally, given the wide amount of international literature based on legal aspects of sexting, articles relating to this topic were excluded.
- This is the question addressed by Michelle Drouin and colleagues, who looked at the emotional and sexual consequences of sexting in different types of romantic relationships (Drouin, Coupe & Temple, 2017).
- But before you hit send, there are some pretty big consequences to consider.
How can you bring up how you feel with your partner?
Plus, users can delete messages from their own and other users’ phones. That said, if an individual intentionally and actively engages in micro-cheating on a regular basis, that might elevate the behavior to the level of full-blown cheating. The fact that any one instance would not be deeply upsetting to the betrayed partner does not stop a series of micro-cheating behaviors from adding up and heightening the impact. Many people have struggled to differentiate between platonic friendships and infidelity. While a friendship with the opposite sex is not the determining factor, the issues of faithfulness, deception and betrayal are.
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Is it OK to read your spouse’s text messages?
A person who is cheating on their partner will sometimes try to practice dissonance reduction by telling themselves their partner is not worthy of honesty or faithfulness. In order to prove to themselves that their partner isn’t worthy, they may begin to criticize or demean their partner on a regular basis. Cognitive dissonance is what happens when someone believes two or more things that can’t be true at the same time. In the case of someone cheating on their partner, those mutually exclusive beliefs are that cheating hurts their partners and that they are kind people who wouldn’t hurt their partners. The friends of the cheating partner usually know about it before you do.
Ultimately, this is up to the people within the relationship to decide. Others see it as insulting and a serious betrayal to the relationship. If you’re having to ask the question, “am I cheating by messaging this person?”, then perhaps it’s time to take another look how you’re texting – and your relationship itself. The practice of creating and sharing sexual images via technological devices, known as sexting, has received crescent attention in the past years, especially due to the increase of adolescent engagement in this behavior.
